
In a small community with very few forms of entertainment we found ways to amuse ourselves, and expend the energy of youth, that ranged from mild amusements to minor felonies. Pig-riding fell somewhere in the middle.
We had a small slaughterhouse on the river near where we lived, Valentine Packing was their name. Almost every Sunday morning, weather permitting, we'd sneak along the riverbank and climb the fence into their stockyards for a little pig-riding. Sundays they were closed and the guard only half-heartedly tried to run us off. We were serious pig-riders though and half-hearted attempts wouldn't deter us for long. One guy even brought a BB gun to shoot us with... I guess guards need their amusements too!
The objective of pig-riding is to get on at the farthest (dry) end of the lot and hang on during the short, wild, furious, gallop to to the other (wet) end. Getting off before the wet end near the barn, where the pigs lounge, is important. Unless your one of those guys who hates company and likes to take more than one bath a day. Getting off was usually easy. The hard part was getting on and hanging on. We think of pigs as fat but it's a hard fat...kinda like riding a rock. They are rounded on top with no mane to hold onto, if you were lucky and could catch the ears it helped but that took the perfect mount.
There were two techniques for getting on, depending on the number of riders. Both involve herding the pigs to the dry end and bunching them for the mounting attempt. It takes two, preferably three guys to herd the pigs. With this small number of guys you had to bunch them, pick your pig, make a mad dash, leap for it's back, hold on for dear life if you make it, avoid trampling if you miss, and don't forget the wet end comes fast. With a larger number of guys we'd take turns and the riders would climb the fence and the herders would herd them to where they could just drop on the pig's back from the fence. This was the easiest, surest mount. Now I don't pretend to understand pig herd dynamics but I do know it's hard, sometimes impossible, to get them to go where you want and when they decide where they want to go, they go there as fast and direct as possible. I also know when a bunch of screaming guys jump on their backs they want to go to the barn (wet end) in a hurry. You can effect a little, very little, steerage if you manage to get hold of the ears but I think any change in direction is more from confusion than compliance and it's tough to get the earhold anyway.
The ride itself is short, intense, exciting, and loads of fun... and if someone doesn't get off before the wet end it's hilarious. Now before you accuse me of animal cruelty, remember this was probably their last day on Earth and why not let them enjoy it running wild and free occasionally trampling one of their future consumers. Their last chance to get even before they're bacon. And since my Dad and Grandpa both bought meat here for their grocery stores we surely ate a few of our former mounts.
Alas, the golden days of pig-riding are over, at least the urban pig-riding we enjoyed. My kids never got to experience the thrill of the ride and Jaryd will never get to. But as you can see from this snapshot, his look of glee and "no hands" technique show that he carries the pig-riding gene in his DNA. My gift to him.