I never say anything negative-especially with subjective subjects like creativity/impressions/feelings/pathos... But I will say that my most effective 'action' shots are those where a piece/part of the image is in focus, and the rest not. It is the same as using DoF to ensure the viewer is looking at what you want them to be looking at.

An example is this: I think I just swallowed a bug! (unretouched, 1/125, f/6.7, ISO 400) where I was in Central Park and had no time to turn IS off with my 24-105 f/4L. If I had turned it off, the folks in the cart would probably have been more in focus.

To be perfectly honest, I would have thought that having the front cover/title in focus would have been really interesting-especially if it had to do with motion/change/speed/etc.!If you are enough of a non-purist to believe in post-production, then maybe you can have your model pose for you again, but this time take 2 shots-one in focus and one out. With these 2 images you can layer them into one composite image and even mask out certain parts of one layer, allowing the other to come through more in the final, flattened image.I've been thinking of doing a tutorial on just that on my blog, actually!

All that aside, the post work you did is really good. I love the pastel and charcoal effects available, and like you probably do, I find them more powerful in B&W.

As with all opinions, they are at once precious and useless. Take in as many as you can, but since you are ultimately the customer, it is your level of satisfaction that really matters in the end.The fact that you are asking in the first place, instead of stating your level of satisfaction, makes me think you're on the fence over it.

As your opinion matters most, and you being your harshest critic, what do you think about how it ended up? If you would include it in a portfolio of your work (not necessarily the short list), then it's perfect!

 Does it pass this initial test in your eyes? If not, what would you change/try next time? :)